Charizard

Tonight, I'm still justifying my unproductivity with the fact that I worked really really hard last week and got NO sleep at all. However, though what I've done tonight may not manifest itself in papers or projects, I think what I've accomplished tonight is some much-needed inner work. Today I turned in the proper forms to change my major to Urban Studies in the fall, which would allow me to graduate a quarter early. Though I've pondered this idea for a couple days now, I've come up with a list of things to do with my newfound 10-weeks come next March. Though my list is undoubtedly growing, I'm afraid my confidence and excitement is not. What if I don't find a job? What if I don't make it? What if I sit on my lazy butt and get fat(ter)? Ideally, I would like to find a high energy, fun, and low-stress job that only requires me to work half-days--giving me time to take my walks and sit in silence. When thinking about my future, all I can picture is my ideal. I am afraid that anything less than perfect will result in a very unhappy me.

But as I strive for perfection--in more ways than just finding a perfect job, a perfect husband, or being perfect, I am finding out that there is no such thing as perfect in this world-- and no, I'm not saying we should all settle. I'm just saying that, personally, when I'm in that mode, on the search for perfection, I focus all the things that are not and easily miss all the wonderful things that are. As a continuation of my last post, I am thankful for good friends, graduating early, ducks, health, and family. Thank God for the things that are. Help me not to forget that.

（如果你看的懂．．．很棒！我每天都要十二點上床睡覺。）