Is it okay that I feel myself changing?
And is it okay if I'm not sure if it's for the better or for the worse?
I feel as though I'm losing control of my life: I don't sleep at a reasonable time. I can go through the weekend without looking at my must-have planner. I eat until I want to stop. I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow, or, for that matter, exactly what it is I should be doing right now. I have no set plans for the upcoming summer. But I feel okay--at least I think I do.
For those of you that know me, this is quite out of the ordinary; for me, knowing myself and living as the control-freak me for the past 20 years, I'm freaking out a little. If it wasn't schoolwork I needed to have a handle on back then, it was a stupid boy. If it wasn't obsessing about my looks, it was getting the next best internship/work experience/scholarshipblahblahblah. Looking back, I can honestly say, I don't feel as if I have much to show for all that stress, all that worry, and all that struggle. I was not valedictorian, homecoming queen, or class president, nor am I anything close to any college equivalent to any of those things now. BUT CRAZILY ENOUGH, I feel okay. I feel better than okay.
3 comments:
It is okay. :)
I think "losing control" is exactly what He intended for all of us. Because honestly, how much control do we have when we think we're in control? haha
Like I always say, just enjoy. Its just not worth having it any other way. <3
i am fully enjoying the change.... haha i hope that's okay : )
hehe thank you for adding a picture for your profile ;)
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